help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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