return my video game
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
