This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
