we have officially lost it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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