When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
