You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
