my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
