she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
