Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
