Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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