im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
