Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
