the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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