at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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