As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
