i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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