remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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