He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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