there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
