her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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