and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He kissed a someone with a penis
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
