I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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