toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
