4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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