I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
