Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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