I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
