I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
