If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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