i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
