Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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