and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
