Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
