guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
