Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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