I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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