"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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