Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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