that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Small penises have feelings too.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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