are you so shy because you have an std?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
