***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Vodka?
Forever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
