took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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