Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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