I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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