I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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