I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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