best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
