it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
