wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
