I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
