so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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